Black Beauty at the Traverse, Edinburgh. Photo: Red Bridge

Andy and Andy live in a horse-box
Parked by the side of a road.
Why, you might ask, choose such an unorthodox
Place to call their abode?

Well, Andy and Andy take their employment
In the form of a pantomime horse.
His name is Hamish and for our enjoyment
He dances a mighty fine waltz.

But panto-goers these days love Daisy the cow
Much more than a horse on the stage.
Woe for Andy and Andy! It’s been more than a year now
Since they saddled up and said “neigh” for a wage.

So Andy and Andy set up a wee stall
To flog all the stuff that they own.
But among some silk scarves, pink gloves and a football,
They find a tatty old book that’s well known.

Black Beauty it’s called! You can tell from the title.
The tale of a famous black horse.
Now Andy and Andy begin a recital
Of this tale with a moral, of course.

Andy and Andy give life to the story
Using handbags and boxes and boots.
It’s funny and clever and quite laudatory
And the audience respond with great hoots.

One Andy is played by actor Paul Curley;
The other by John Currivan.
Paul may be small, while John is quite burly,
And together we’re all having fun.

Black Beauty is aimed at the younger among us;
The Traverse suggests six and over.
But to judge from the laughs, which are always humungous,
Even the oldies here are in clover.

After applause and great laughter, Andy and Andy
Must pack up and move on their show.
For Black Beauty is touring, which is really quite handy:
First Manchester, then on to Glasgow.

So, if you like puppets, music, horses and stories
Or wrenched rhymes involving a bootie”¦
Or wish to forget the world of Labour, Brexit and Tories,
Then get thyself down to Black Beauty!

Black Beauty was on at the Traverse Theatre, Edinburgh from 29-30 November. It is touring until 23 December. More info here.